Reflections on life's transitions...

I am reading an excellent book called "Transitions" by William Bridges. Here is an expert and some of my thoughts...

How to deal with the neutral state in between the phases of transitions:

"Chaos is not a mess, but rather it is the primal state of pure energy to which the person returns for every true new beginning." (p.119)

Wisdom is the accrual of time spent in this neutral space. Being in the unknown.

Now that we are no longer tribal communities here is what we can focus on doing when lost in transition...

How to surrender to the Neutral Zone:

1. Find a regular time to be alone. This is not reading a book, but rather going for a walk, going to nature, sitting, meditating.

2. Log your experiences of being in the neutral zone. Where you ask:
What is really going on?,
What was your mood?,
What were you thinking about?,
What puzzling or unusual things happened?
What decisions do you wish you had made?
What dreams do you wish you could have made?

3. Write an autobiography. From your current vantage point the stories of the past change. We make new sense of the past as we have more experiences in life. It is the wisdom of now that gives us a new lens of the past. In doing so, it is easy to realize that we are simply bound by our reality. Therefore, our present and future view are similarly bounded. Letting go is truly freeing and can allow for possibilities.

4. Discover what you really want now. When circumstances box us in, we know how we would live if we only had the time. As soon as we have the time, we are lost to figure out exactly what we want.

5. What would be unlived in your life if it ended today? Write your obituary...include things you did and did not do. The goal is to simulate an ending for yourself. Since new beginnings start with endings.

What do you think and feel about the past?
What was unlived in the past, what dreams, what convictions, what talents, what ideas, what qualities in you went unrealized?

6. Take a few days to go on your own version of a passage journey. Spend a few days alone to reflect upon the current transition process. Go somewhere unknown and without familiar comforts. Keep the food simple and small. Don't get distracted with entertainment. Bring a journal. Consider keeping a vigil one night. Note the dreams that come up and/or crazy things that happen. Especially during the morning. Go with what is coming up in the moment, happy, bored, whatever - there is no right outcome.

This neutral zone can happen at any point even after a new beginning. It is when you are unplugged emotionally. Running on autopilot.

"The way out is the way in"